On a call with a mentor last week he says, “My life has been very difficult.”
Oh?
Do tell.
– car wreck on way home from wedding, many years ago
– had to live with parents (used apartment money to buy new car)
– right before moving back out, someone broke into car and stole kids car seat
– did not have money to replace it, had to stay with parents again
I said, “What did you do?”
He said — “I cried a little bit. Then realized nobody gives a sh*t. They don’t care if you sit down and die. They don’t care if you come back with a vengeance. Might as well come back with a vengeance.”
This story is prevalent all over the place and it happens all the time.
You are not a victim.
You can choose to be whoever you want to be, WHENEVER you want to.
The skill that must be developed is a special kind of crazy where you decide to ignore objective present reality because you’re tuned into a future reality that just hasn’t happened yet.
Every successful person gets to the top in their MINDS first.
Reality catches up later.
This post is just to encourage you:
There’s nothing wrong with you…
The faster you stop feeling sorry for yourself, the faster you become who you were always meant to become. THAT person won’t care that you spent a few years in the wilderness figuring it out…
Badge of honor.
Anybody that came from nothing to something understands this and is proud of it 🚀
About small beginnings…
I used to clean toilets every weekend while working at a lifetime fitness in my early 20’s.
Weekends were for working at the gym, during the week working at the hospital. And 5 am on Fridays was working as a barista at the coffee stop.
One year, I got an opportunity to work on an Emmy Award show in Los Angeles so I packed my car and moved basically right away and it was also a blast.
I learned years ago how to say “Yes” when everyone else said no. The agreement I had with myself “if no one else can do it, I’ll figure out how to do it.”
God is a master at positioning.
I learned to say yes when most people said no.
Working as a barista led me to get a job at the hospital because one of my regular customers who would come to my shop in the morning offered a job there.
My sister was just like me. She learned how to say yes.
Then we figure it out!
God is a master at positioning and time is always in a bubble.
When you’re in a season it always feels slow motion. When you get out you realize how fast it passed.
Sometimes I wish I could go back just to remember.
Years from now I will look back on this day, and remember.
What if we lived in the moment so passionately that we never had to wish to go back and relive it?
“Tomorrow” and “yesterday” are both projections.
NOW is the best.
Grateful that I get to be alive for it.
Here’s to saying yes.
A new lens to problem solving:
In 1950, Sam Walton has 4 kids and is facing imminent failure.
His retail stores are being force-sold, “stolen” from him by his landlord. He failed to add a clause that allowed him to renew his leases, and the landlord wanted his businesses.
There was literally no where else to go in town, no other buildings capable of handling the inventory or the volume. So he sold the businesses to his landlord at liquidation prices, rather than getting stuck in bankruptcy with inventory he could not sell.
No idea how to make ends meet or what to do next, he recalls the experience:
I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. It really was like a nightmare. I had built the best variety store in the whole region and worked hard in the community, done everything right, and now I was being kicked out of town. It didn’t seem fair.
Abraham Lincoln failed 10 times more than he succeeded.
- 1832 defeated for legislature
- 1833 failed in a second business
- 1836 suffered traumatic mental breakdown
- 1838 defeated for speaker
- 1840 defeated for elector
- 1843 defeated for congressional nomination
- 1846 elected to Congress
- 1848 defeated for Congress
- 1855 defeated for Senate
- 1856 defeated for Vice President
- 1849 defeated for Senate
- 1860 elected POTUS
Your failure is not permanent.
I call this process “re-lensing.”
To reframe something is to give it new meaning. The common, but true, cliche “nothing is happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you,” is a reframe.
You take what would normally unsettle you, give it new meaning, and then you power through.
To re-lens is the change the perspective.
Like putting on a new pair of glasses, you see the situation completely differently. Reframing changes the meaning in the middle, re-lensing changes the vantage point and oftentimes removes the middle.
When I compare my current problems with what Sam Walton was facing in 1950, I’m not sure it compares. There is a lot of power that comes from being able to re-lens appropriately.
Whatever you expect to happen from a situation, you are likely to get. This is why reframing is important. Changing the meaning changes the expectations you have from it.
There is a whole circus of people who believe their lives are unbearable and the country, world, their company – etcetera – is getting worse and worse and worse. The truth is, life is moving forward. You cannot stop in the middle or you might never get back on the train.
If you can’t reframe it, re-lens it.
Someone else had it worse.
You are not Frankl, awaiting death in a concentration camp, focusing on the only thing you can control (your thinking) — but even if you are, he made it and through his pain he made a difference — and so will you.
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